


falling in love with a friend

by doodles357



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/F, Friends to Lovers, background tyrus, is there anyone left in the fandom who ships bandi?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodles357/pseuds/doodles357
Summary: Ever since the party and Andi's announcement that she got into SAVA, Buffy's feelings about her best friend have started to change.
Relationships: Buffy Driscoll/Andi Mack, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	falling in love with a friend

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if anyone left in the fandom even ships Bandi, but I got this idea into my head and decided to write it out and it ended up being way longer than I anticipated! But it's my favorite rare pair and I wanted to write something for them. A quick note: this takes place after the finale, but Buffy and Marty didn't get together romantically and just stayed friends instead.

It was just supposed to be a party.

It wasn’t the first party they had ever had, obviously. Buffy had been hoping that this one would have less drama than the first one. But her wish hadn’t been granted.

Things started off innocently enough. After she and Cyrus got there, other people started arriving in pairs and groups, and once the music started pumping through the speakers, people started dancing. It was fun at first. Even though her injured foot meant she couldn’t jump around and dance as energetically as she usually did, she had enough range of motion to do at least some dancing. 

Throughout the party, she couldn’t help but keep an eye on Cyrus. She had seen the look of hurt and disappointment on his face when Kira showed up, and she wished that she could just kick the other girl out. Since she couldn’t though, she made it her mission to distract him as much as possible, which meant lots of dancing. Jonah and Amber were both unaware of the situation, but were glad to join in on the dancing (as long as they didn’t have to dance too closely by each other).

Marty joined their group at one point, and tried to start a dance-off with Jonah. Buffy was glad that they had managed to repair their friendship; she had missed spending time with him. She just wished things hadn’t gotten so complicated between them in the first place. Things were just easier when feelings weren’t involved. While they were all dancing, she kept some of her attention on Cyrus. From the goofy way he was dancing, he seemed to be having a good time, and his mind was off of the TJ and Kira situation, at least for a little bit. 

Andi also seemed to be enjoying herself, which made Buffy happy. After everything that had happened to her over the past year or so, and especially in the last few months with her parents and their wedding issues, she deserved some happiness. At one point she danced over to her friend, grabbed her hand, and spun her around. Andi giggled with delight, and the sound warmed Buffy’s heart. 

And then TJ had gotten up behind the piano and started playing a Lady Gaga song. And Buffy had placed a microphone into Cyrus’ hand and shoved in the direction of the stage. Even though she never really had any solid evidence, she knew that TJ liked him, and she was hoping that this meant TJ was finally taking a step in the right direction.

After the song finished, they all split up and she found herself wandering towards the snack table where Marty was standing. They joked about his frog-eating claim and laughed together. It was nice, she thought. Nothing weird between them, just two friends having a good time. That’s all she had ever wanted.

Around ten or so, the party started to wind down, as most people had to go home. Her parents knew she would be staying a little later, so she found a seat on the bottom of the stairs, watching as people left. Cyrus plopped down next to her at one point, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. She was already feeling tired, but didn’t want to leave just yet.

When she looked over at him, he was staring off into space, a dreamy look on his face. She bit back a smile, hoping that it meant something good.

“Did you have a good time at the party?” she asked.

“Mmhm,” was his reply, and a soft smile spread across his face.

“Did TJ go home already?” she asked, a teasing lilt to her voice.

“Yes, he had to work tomorrow morning,” Cyrus said. He wouldn’t look her in the eyes, but he still had that smile on her face, which told her everything she needed to know. She decided not to press the issue; he would tell her everything when he was ready.

Once the last of the stragglers had left the house, they all headed out to the backyard, sans Cece who declared she was going to bed and since she hadn’t thrown the party, did not need to help with the cleanup. They settled into chairs around the fire and started chatting easily. When Andi brought out the photo of them as children, she smiled with fondness at their young faces. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and it made her realize how much they had changed.

And then Andi stood up and led them over to Andi Shack and opened the doors to stark whiteness. Buffy had been inside the shack numerous times over the years, and had seen many variations of how it had been decorated. But in all that time, she had never seen it empty. It felt wrong, seeing the plain walls and floor. It was as though the entire world had been thrown off its tracks. Somewhere, deep down, Buffy knew she wasn’t going to like the explanation that she was going to get.

“I got in,” Andi said, sounding breathless with excitement. “To SAVA.”

As her parents erupted in happiness, Buffy felt a sinking sensation in her stomach. She had heard of SAVA, if only through brief mentions. Walker of all people had actually mentioned it to her at one point when they were seeing each other. It made sense in a way. Andi was very artistic, and she would likely do really well at a fancy art school.

But it was another school. Another high school. She had applied and never told them. She hadn’t even hinted at it. From the tone in Cyrus’ voice, Buffy could tell that he felt the same way she did. The three of them told each other everything, and yet here was this huge event in her friend’s life that she had been clueless about. Bex and Bowie took turns hugging her before they headed inside. 

The four of them talked and hugged and then they headed back inside. Buffy’s mind was swirling with everything that had just happened. What seemed like a promising night had suddenly turned somewhat sour for her. She bid goodbye to Bex and Bowie, trying to sound normal, before stepping out on the porch to wait for her dad to pick her up. Cyrus was already waiting outside.

“I feel bad for leaving without helping to clean up,” he said to her.

“Is your ride already on the way?” she asked.

“Well, yeah,” he admitted. “But I still feel bad.”

“We can come over after we go to the Spoon tomorrow,” she suggested. He suddenly looked shifty, not meeting her eyes again.

“I...may have plans in the afternoon,” he said evasively, clearly trying to sound casual but failing completely.

“Oh? Plans? With who?” she asked, her mood rising. “Does this have anything to do with the  _ life-changing _ party?”

It was too dark to tell if Cyrus was blushing, but the grin was back, threatening to split wide open.

“Maybe,” he said. She squealed and grabbed his arm.

“What happened?!” she asked excitedly.

“I don’t know if I can tell you yet,” he said, a look of consternation on his face. “Other people’s privacy, you know?” he gave her an imploring look and she understood what he meant.

“Okay, I won’t bug you about it anymore,” she said. “But as soon as you know - ”

“I know,” he said. “You’ll be the first one I tell.”

A beat of silence passed between them before she squealed again and gave him a hug. She could feel him giggling under her arms, and she felt a wave of happiness for him.

They broke apart as Jonah came out onto the porch. “Oh good, I don’t have to stand out here alone,” he said. 

“Is your mom coming to get you?” Cyrus asked him.

“Yup,” Jonah replied. “Crazy about Andi, huh?”

They were back on the subject of Andi going to SAVA, which was not one Buffy wanted to revisit. Her happiness was seeping away. 

“That’s for sure,” Cyrus said, and Buffy could hear it in his voice again.

“Did you guys know?” Jonah asked.

“Nope,” Buffy replied. That was what hurt the most, she thought. Not knowing. Not being able to prepare for the possibility. Andi having this big secret that she kept from them. And this wasn’t a family issue, like her whole mom thing. That was different, and she understood why Andi didn’t share that right away. This was a decision she had made about the future and she hadn’t told them. 

She hadn’t told  _ her _ . 

Luckily, headlights swept over them as the first car pulled up in the driveway, and the conversation was cut short. Cyrus waved goodbye as he headed over to the passenger side. Buffy and Jonah’s rides arrived shortly after and they headed home.

\---

That night, Buffy found it difficult to fall asleep. The image of empty Andi Shack seemed tattooed on her mind, and Andi’s excited face at the fact that she would be going to a different high school without them. Part of Buffy knew that she should be happy for her friend. She was sure that it was no easy accomplishment to get into the school. And it was in Shadyside. It wasn’t like they would never see each other again. But there was the other part of her that was jealous and hurt. For as long as she could remember, they had talked about what high school would be like, and how they would survive it together. Now, Andi wasn’t going to be there. And it wasn’t like she would have to go to high school on her own, but whenever she pictured it, Andi was right there beside her and Cyrus.

Earlier in the year, she had been worried that she had messed things up between her and Andi when she and Walker had started seeing each other. For a while, it seemed like every conversation between them was tense and awkward and ready to explode into a fight that never really came. Buffy had hated it; she thought she liked Walker and she went on some dates with him to see if anything would come of it. Eventually, she had figured out that they weren’t right for each other. But the fact that it had almost cost her her friendship with Andi was upsetting, since it definitely wouldn’t have been worth it.

And even though they had patched things up and their friendship had come out of it just fine, it still scared her a little bit. She and Andi had never fought before. They had disagreements at times, but nothing that lasted for more than a day. But this had been much bigger than that, and it had shifted the dynamics of their friendship. Not only had Andi been upset by the fact that Buffy had been seeing Walker, but she had started hanging out with Amber as well.

Buffy had made her peace with the older girl, but it still hurt to see Andi spending so much time with her. It almost made her feel as though she was being replaced, which was the worst feeling in the world. It wasn’t that she was against her friends making other friends - Cyrus was also friends with Amber now, and it didn’t bother her nearly as much as it had with Andi, and she couldn’t figure out why. 

And then there was Walker. He was cute, funny, smart, nice, and creative. He liked her, which was surprising to her. They didn't have a lot in common, but he seemed to be attracted to her. It was nice to have that kind of attention, and she enjoyed hanging out with him. For all intents and purposes, she should have liked him romantically. But she didn’t. And she didn’t know why. So she started looking for reasons not to be with him. While she had been honest about not liking the surprise public promposal type things, she knew that she had reacted a lot more harshly than necessary, but she couldn’t help it. It had been her excuse to end things.

And then she had called up Marty, because maybe that was the problem. Maybe she did like him after all. And she did want to fix things between them, because it was stupid how their friendship had ended. But despite everything, she still didn’t have romantic feelings for him. It didn’t make sense either. They had so much in common and got along so well, but she only thought of him as a friend. Logically, she should have a crush on him, but she just didn’t.

Glancing over at the clock, she was shocked to see it was already past midnight. She wasn’t sure how her train of thoughts had gone from Andi and SAVA to dealing with boys. She rolled back over in bed, shut her eyes, resolved to not think about it anymore, and eventually drifted off into an uneasy sleep. 

\-----

The next couple of months were strange. So much had changed in that one night at the party, and everything had shifted. Some of the changes were good; Cyrus and TJ had officially started dating, and while they were doing so without really coming out to the public, Buffy obviously knew and was thrilled for her friend. TJ also became more of a regular fixture in their friend group, which was fine with her. It was surprising, sometimes, how much could change in such a short time. A year ago, she hated TJ’s guts, and now she looked forward to hanging out with him. 

Marty hung out with them more frequently too, and despite some initial wariness around each other, he and TJ were getting along quite well. Although it became abundantly clear early on that the two of them and Jonah should never be left alone to their own devices, because they all had a tendency to act like idiots when together. 

Amber spent more time with the group as well, and Buffy found that it didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would. To her surprise, she seemed somewhat discontented by Andi’s SAVA news as well. It was something Buffy tried not to think too much about, but the further they got in the year, the closer high school was and it was impossible to think of anything else. They had orientation where they toured the high school and they had to pick out their classes for freshman year. Meanwhile, Andi was doing a different orientation at SAVA and talking about all the activities and classes that she could take that were different from a normal high school.

They were at the Spoon one day in April, working on homework with a basket of baby taters between them. Cyrus was planning on meeting them there later. They sat in a peaceful, comfortable silence, occasionally reaching to grab one of the snacks. Buffy looked up at one point, stretching as she took a quick break. She couldn’t help but study her friend sitting across from her. The sunlight trickled in through the window, splashing itself across Andi. The golden glow highlighted the freckles on her nose and reflected off the sparkly clip in her hair. The longer Buffy studied her, the more she realized something was different.

“Are you growing your hair out?” she asked suddenly. The normally short locks were starting to curl over the tops of her ears, and her bangs were all but gone as they reached the length of the rest of her hair. 

Andi looked up in surprise. “Oh yeah, I thought I’d try something new. I’ve had it short for so long, I forgot what it’s like to have long hair.” Grinning, she said, “I’ll probably regret it once it starts taking me longer to get ready in the morning.

Buffy grinned back. Andi had long hair way back when they first met in the second grade, but she had gotten in cut during the summer. She used to have an obsession with Tinker Bell, and wanted to have a pixie cut to match. Cece hadn’t been thrilled with the decision, but allowed it. Andi had kept it short ever since.

It looked nice on her, Buffy decided. She wondered what it would look like once it was more noticeably longer. Seven year old Andi and fourteen year old Andi looked very different after all. She found herself studying her friend a little longer after that, forgetting about the homework that she was supposed to be working on. Andi looked pretty with the sunlight washed over her, and Buffy found it hard to tear her gaze away.

She was only interrupted when Cyrus plopped down next to her and immediately grabbed a handful of baby taters. Their conversation turned to other topics, and Buffy tried to keep her eyes on her homework and off her friend. 

\---

Before she knew it, middle school was done and summer was done, and high school had started. Buffy spent the last few days of summer with her friends, soaking up every last moment. No matter how many times Andi insisted that things wouldn’t change, Buffy knew that they would. They would be going to different schools and making different friends and they wouldn’t see each other as often as they usually did. 

The first few weeks of high school flew by in a blur of figuring out a new schedule and layout of the school. Buffy joined cross country, which helped her to get to know some of her new classmates before the school year officially started. Everyone else in their friend group had also picked an activity or two to join as well, and between that and homework, she found that they had a lot less time to hang out after school as compared to middle school. But she still saw everyone else at lunch and in some shared classes at least. 

It was different with Andi. Her friend was also busy with all the various activities available at SAVA, and as a result, they saw a lot less of each other. When they did hang out, Andi was full of stories of the interesting things going on at SAVA and all the cool people she was meeting. And while Buffy was happy for her friend, there was that tiny twisting sensation, somewhere deep in her gut. It felt like her friend was drifting away from her, and she didn’t like it.

So she proposed that they have a sleepover. Just the two of them. It had been a while since they had one, and Buffy figured it would be a good way for them to spend some time together. Andi agreed happily and they figured out a date. It was still weird to have to plan a hang out, but with their busy schedules, it was the only way to make it work.

The day of the sleepover, Buffy was jumpy and nervous all day. She couldn’t figure it out. It was  _ Andi _ . they were having a sleepover together. They had done it a million times before. Why was she so worked up about it?

They ended up lounging around in Buffy’s room for a bit, chatting about school and other things that were going on. Buffy filled Andi in on Cyrus’ plans to start a GSA at the school, and Andi talked about a new project she was working on for a class. Then Andi sat up on the bed, with a familiar look of excitement on her face.

“Ooh, I just remembered,” she said. “My mom taught me this new makeup technique. Can I try it out on you? It’s easier to do it on someone else.”

“Sure,” Buffy shrugged. She didn’t wear a ton of makeup, but she was always willing to let Andi practice on her. Her friend had a steadier hand than her, and usually made her makeup look a lot nicer than she ever could. Andi jumped off the bed to grab her makeup kit, and then plopped back down on the bed facing Buffy. 

She pulled a few items out of the bag before studying Buffy’s face intently. Buffy felt her cheeks starting to get warm, which confused her. This was hardly the first time Andi had done her makeup - why was this making her feel weird? Andi then picked up one of her makeup items and gently touched the side of Buffy’s face, turning it slightly to the side. 

“All right, I'm going to need you to close your eyes,” she said. Buffy did as she was told, and felt the soft pressure of a brush on her eyelid. She sat as still as she could while Andi did her work, trying not to fidget too much. Andi’s hands were soft as she brushed and drew around Buffy’s eyes. Buffy could feel her skin tingling where Andi’s hands had touched her, and she could feel butterflies dancing in her stomach. What was going on with her?

After a few more minutes, Andi declared that she was done. Buffy’s eyes fluttered open and she found that Andi had scooted closer and their faces were only a few feet apart. Andi was studying her face carefully, apparently admiring her handiwork.

“Want to see it?” Andi offered and Buffy nodded. They scrambled off the bed and moved in front of Buffy’s mirror. She was surprised at her reflection. It didn’t look like Andi had put on a lot of makeup, but whatever she did had made Buffy’s eyes look more noticeable, and made her look older. 

“Wow,” Buffy said in surprise. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but she saw herself looking...mature. 

“You look gorgeous, if I do say so myself,” Andi said, giving a toss of her hair with a fake haughty air.

“You definitely know your way around a makeup brush,” Buffy joked, ignoring the increased butterflies at the ‘gorgeous’ compliment. 

Andi made her pose for a few selfies, before they headed downstairs to find something for supper. After eating, they made themselves comfortable on the couch in the basement with a pile of blankets and snacks for a movie marathon.

As they got settled, Andi snuggled up to Buffy and rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder. It was something they had done tons of times before, at basically every sleepover they had ever had together, but it felt different now. Buffy was hyper aware of Andi’s warmth pressed up against her side, and the soft feathery touch of Andi’s hair against her neck. She was barely able to concentrate on any of the movies they watched that night. 

Later that night, long after Andi had fallen asleep, Buffy lay awake, staring at the ceiling. There was a small part of her that knew why she had been feeling so weird around Andi lately, but she wasn’t quite ready to admit it to herself. She resolved to talk to Cyrus about it the next time she hung out with him. If anyone could help her work through this, it would be him.

\---

It was another week before she found herself hanging out alone with Cyrus. Technically, she could have figured out a way to talk to him alone before that, but she kept chickening out. 

The thing was, Buffy didn’t like talking about feelings. At least her own feelings. She was fine with talking about other people’s feelings. And she could talk about her own feelings. Just not all of them. She was fine with talking about things that made her happy or annoyed or angry. But the feelings that made her scared or uneasy or weak were different. She didn’t like talking about how scared she felt when her mom was deployed in some other country, and she had no idea if she was okay or not. She hadn’t wanted to talk about how scared she was about moving to Phoenix, and how heartbroken she was about having to leave behind the two best friends she had ever had in her life. 

And when it came to romance, she  _ definitely  _ didn’t like to talk about her feelings. Mostly because she normally felt confused by her feelings. She was more than happy to talk about her friends and their romantic feelings, but she would rather leave it at that. But now she had some feelings and she didn’t know what to make of them. 

She and Cyrus were sprawled out in his room, both working on homework with some music playing in the background. She had finished up her math problems and was trying to work up the courage to bring up the topic. Cyrus was alternating between filling out a worksheet for history class and texting someone (most likely TJ), and she decided to wait until he was done so she didn’t distract him any more than he already was. However, he ended up finishing up much sooner than she had anticipated.

“Can we talk about something?” she asked him hesitantly as he packed up his materials.

“Sure,” he said, before looking up at her and seeing the hesitant expression on her face. “What is it?”

“I don’t know how to explain,” she started off, fiddling with a loose end of fabric on the edges of her jeans. 

“What is the general topic?” he asked, sitting up and giving her his full attention. She could tell he was shifting into his therapist mode, and she felt the urge to smile despite her nerves.

“Feelings,” she said.

“Ahh,” he replied knowingly. “What kind of feelings?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out,” she admitted. 

“Romantic?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” she said, the familiar frustration building up.

“Do I know the guy?” he asked, and she felt herself freeze.  _ Guy _ . 

There was a long enough pause that he had to have noticed, and she cast her gaze to her lap. Her stomach was churning with nerves, and it took all her courage to say the next thing out loud.

“It’s...not a guy.”

The room was quiet, but she felt as though her statement was reverberating loudly around the room, bouncing off the walls and slamming back into her. It was the first time she had said it out loud, and really the first time she had admitted it to herself. 

And then Cyrus was next to her, wrapping his arms around her and she let her head fall against his shoulder as she let out a huge breath that she hadn’t realized she was holding. He squeezed her tightly, and she felt him press a kiss against the top of her head.

Logically, she knew that she had nothing to worry about when it came to telling Cyrus of all people. But it had still been really scary. She sat up, pulling slightly away from his hug and met his gaze. His eyes were full of warmth and love and it made her feel a lot better.

“Really?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Really,” she confirmed. 

“So, do I know  _ her _ ?” he asked gently. 

She sighed and the familiar feeling of nervousness came flooding back.

“Yes,” she said quietly. He didn’t say anything, and she knew he was waiting for her to give him an answer.

“It’s Andi,” she finally admitted, her answer coming out in a whisper.

She didn't look at Cyrus to see his reaction, but he started rubbing circles on her shoulder with his thumb. 

“When did you figure it out?” he asked her quietly.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s sort of been...an ongoing process.”

“I get it,” he replied. “It’s not always something you just figure out overnight.”

“It’s completely pointless,” she said sharply, suddenly feeling frustrated with herself. “She’s never going to feel the same way about me. And if I tell her, I’ll just ruin our friendship!”

“It’s not pointless,” Cyrus countered. “Even if she doesn’t return your feelings, it made you realize something about yourself.”

She looked at him and she could see the unasked question in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I have no idea. I thought I liked guys, and maybe I do or maybe I don’t. I have no idea at this point. I just know that I like her.”

“And that’s fine,” he said gently. “You don’t need to figure everything out right now.”

“Plus,” he continued. “She’s your best friend. This could never ruin your friendship. It’s way too strong for that. Nothing can ruin what the three of us have.”

Buffy wasn’t sure if she agreed with him, but she didn’t feel like arguing. Besides, she had already decided that she wasn’t going to tell Andi. It was hard enough figuring out what her feelings meant, and coming to terms with them. She valued her friendship with Andi more than any romantic feelings that she may have developed, and she would rather suffer in silence than destroy their friendship because of a crush.

But that ended up being easier said than done. After she had admitted to herself that she did have a crush on Andi, it became a lot easier for her to notice things that were directly related to her crush, and harder for her to ignore them. Like how pretty Andi looked all the time. And how she smelled good, like a mixture of vanilla and cinnamon. And of course, how her heart would skip a beat when Andi threw her arms around Buffy for a hug, or the butterflies that erupted in her stomach when Andi grabbed her hands or leaned against her. 

The worst part was definitely when Andi started talking about a guy that she met at SAVA. A guy who was cute and smart and artistic and who went to protested and ate vegan and was into classic rock and on and on. Buffy was familiar with jealousy, but it felt stronger and more painful this time. She never felt this way when Andi was with Jonah, but maybe that was because it had been so messy and all over the place that it never felt like things would ever actually work out between them. 

But she played the role of the best friend like she knew she was supposed to, asking questions about him and encouraging Andi. She could feel Cyrus’ concerned gaze on her at times, but she ignored it and tried to pretend like it wasn’t killing her inside to hear about this perfect guy that Andi had a crush on.

\----

Halfway through the school year, Andi and her parents decided to throw a party again. It was clearly becoming a tradition, although this year it would be different because all of Andi’s SAVA friends would be there too. They weren’t sure who would all show up from Grant aside from their group, since people that had gone to Jefferson at least were aware of the party and likely to show up.

When they got to the Mack house, it looked like the party was already in full swing. It was a little surprising, considering Buffy was used to showing up with Cyrus to an empty house. As they walked in, she couldn’t help but notice that she really didn’t know anyone at the party. It seemed as though most of the guests were SAVA students, and she was surprised how many people had shown up. She hadn’t realized how popular Andi had gotten at her new school. 

They were briefly stopped by Cece who was watching the front entrance and apparently frisking people to make sure they weren’t bringing in alcohol or other illegal substances. Once they made it past her, Buffy and Cyrus broke apart from their group and made their way through the crowd, looking for Andi. Bex was at her usual spot as DJ, but it was too crowded to go over by her.

“There,” Cyrus finally shouted, pointing at a group of people. Andi was right in the middle, laughing and talking. Her hair was curly, and it looked as though she had added some streaks of blue and purple to it, which was definitely new. She was wearing a purple dress that shimmered and Buffy felt her breath catch slightly at the sight. Her friend looked so pretty, and she suddenly started to doubt her ability to make it through the party without anyone noticing.

Cyrus waved wildly, and Andi’s face lit up when she spotted them. She headed over immediately, and grabbed both of them in a hug. 

“Yay, you guys made it!” she squealed.

“Of course we did!” Cyrus said.

“We just weren’t the first ones here for once,” Buffy said, willing her heart to beat at a normal pace again. 

“It’s more fashionable to be late though, right?” Andi teased, before her attention was directed behind them where Amber, Jonah, and the rest of their friends finally caught up with them.

The night progressed, and introductions were made over the loud music. Andi’s new friends seemed nice enough, and Andi had talked a bit about them before, so Buffy had some idea of who they were. It was still strange to see her friend dancing and laughing with people who were essentially strangers. However, Buffy tried to get into the spirit of the party and threw herself into the dancing. As usual, Cyrus was flailing everywhere, but at least he brought an energy that was infectious. She was able to forget her earlier discomfort and just enjoy the night with her friends.

Andi alternated between dancing with her SAVA friends and with their group, and when she reached out to grab Buffy’s hand, Buffy felt her heart skip a beat. Smiling, she spun Andi around, watching as her friend’s dress flared out with the motion. They danced for what seemed like hours before they collectively decided to take a break and get snacks. 

As she was waiting her turn to get food, Buffy glanced around the room, taking in all the action. Her eyes landed on Andi, who was standing on the side of the dance floor, talking and laughing with a boy she didn't recognize. She could recognize from her friend's body language that she was definitely flirting. A sick feeling settled in Buffy's stomach, and she turned away, not wanting to watch the inevitable. She  grabbed a plate of food and a water bottle before finding a quiet corner to relax in. Her friends joined in as they got their own food. 

Andi came over not long after, sans mysterious guy, and plopped down in the chair with Buffy. She hoped that it was dark enough to cover the blush that she could feel creeping up her face. 

“So, what’s the latest gossip from Grant?” Andi asked eagerly after everyone was settled. “What have I missed?”

“A girl’s hair got set on fire in lab this week,” Marty offered. Andi gasped in shock. 

“She was fine, don’t worry,” Jonah said reassuringly. “But we’re not allowed to use Bunsen Burners for the rest of the year.”

“Give me something juicy,” Andi said, a familiar gleam in her eye. “Anyone have a crush? I’m sure someone does.”

“I do!” Cyrus exclaimed from where he was seated next to TJ, who had his arm around Cyrus’ shoulders.

“No kidding,” Buffy said dryly, causing everyone to laugh.

“That’s old news,” Andi rolled her eyes. She nudged Buffy with her elbow. “What about you?”

Buffy felt a sudden drop in her stomach. With her eyes fixed on a spot on the ground, she attempted nonchalance. “Nope, I don’t like anyone.”

“Liar,” Andi sang out in a teasing voice. “I know you too well. You  _ definitely  _ like someone. Tell me, tell me!” 

She was bouncing up and down with excitement, and Buffy felt her stomach churning in nervousness. There was obviously no way she was going to say who it was, especially in front of Andi, but knowing her friend, she wasn’t going to give up easily.

“Ooh, who is it?” Amber joined in, and she heard TJ laugh. She knew that her other friends had no idea who she liked, but it was starting to feel like everyone’s eyes were drilling into her, waiting for her answer. Her gaze landed on Cyrus who was the only one looking concerned. Feeling overwhelmed, she dropped her plate onto the group, abruptly stood up and walked out of the circle. She could hear her friends’ disappointed exclamations behind her, but she didn’t stop until she was outside. 

Once out in the cool air, she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. She shouldn’t have gotten so upset about it, but she had felt somewhat ganged up on and panicked. And she didn’t want to lie about it, since she couldn’t even think of anyone to lie about.

“Buffy?” she heard behind her, and she hated the fact that the butterflies in her stomach returned when she recognized the voice. 

“What’s going on?” Andi asked her as she came around the stand in front of Buffy. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Buffy replied, forcing a smile. “I just didn’t want to have a group discussion about it.”

“That’s fine,” Andi said with a smile of her own. “So tell me. Who is it?”

She had gotten that excited look on her face again, and grabbed Buffy’s arm in her excitement.

“There’s no one,” Buffy insisted, hearing the lie in her own voice. Andi’s face dropped.

“Why won’t you tell me?” she asked, sounding hurt. “Why is it such a big deal?”

“It’s not,” Buffy said. “It’s not ever going to happen, so it doesn’t even matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Andi insisted. “You told Cyrus; I could tell that he knows. Why won’t you tell me?”

“It’s...complicated,” Buffy replied, not meeting Andi’s eyes.

“It’s not another Walker thing, is it?” Andi asked, her brow furrowed. “Wait...do you like...Jonah?”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at that, although her laugh sounded pained even to her. “No, it’s not Jonah. Why does everyone keep guessing that?”

“Well, why else won’t you tell me?” Andi was starting to sound frustrated. “We always tell each other everything!”

“You didn’t tell us about SAVA!” Buffy snapped back and regretted it the instant the words left her mouth.

“What are you talking about?” Andi asked in confusion. 

“Nothing,” Buffy said, wishing she could take it back.

“No, what is it?” Andi demanded. “What didn’t I tell you about SAVA?”

“That you were going,” Buffy finally replied. “That you had applied. That you had decided to go to another high school without us and just never thought to tell us that it was even a possibility.”

Every negative thought that had built up inside Buffy since the party last year came pouring out, and even though she didn’t want to be saying any of it, it was as though a switch had been flipped and she couldn’t stop.

“We tell each other everything, but you couldn’t tell us that you were considering going to another high school? Did that not matter? We’ve only talked about what we were going to do in high school together since we were kids.”

“I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think I’d get in!” Andi cried. “If I told everyone and then didn’t get in, it would have been embarrassing.”

“You know we don’t care about that!” Buffy retorted. “We’ve never cared about that. We wouldn’t have made fun of you or anything.”

“That’s not the point!” Andi said.

“Then what is?” Buffy said. She wasn’t even sure where their argument was going. Or where it had started. This was the opposite of what she had wanted, and she could see the hurt in Andi’s eyes. Hurt that was there because of her, and it was the last thing she had wanted. She could feel tears welling up, but she forced them back. 

“All I wanted to know was who you had a crush on,” Andi snapped back. “I don’t know why this is such a big deal!”

“Because it’s you!”

The words rang out between them, sharp in the cold air. Buffy didn’t remember opening her mouth to speak them, but she heard them clearly. The shock on Andi’s face was confirmation enough that she had spoken them and not just thought them. The weight of what she had done came crashing down on her, and without thinking, she did what she was best at.

She ran.

\-----

Since the party was supposed to run late, she was staying over at Cyrus’ house for the night. To her great relief, his parents were still out on their date for the night. Using their emergency key hidden in the flowerpots, she let herself into the quiet, dark house. She had sprinted the entire way there, grateful that she had worn flats that night. By focusing all her attention on running, she hadn’t given her mind the chance to reflect on what had happened. But now that she didn’t have any distractions, the image of Andi’s shocked face was front and center in her mind. 

She stumbled up to Cyrus’ bedroom, barely making it into the room before the tears started. Collapsing onto Cyrus’ bed, she let them flow, not caring how loudly she was crying. What had she done? By blurting that out, she had just ruined the best friendship she had ever had in her life. The fact that Andi now knew that Buffy had a crush on her was the least of her worries. She had managed to tell her in the worst way possible.

Between her sobs, she realized that her phone was ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. Cyrus. The tiny part of her that was disappointed that it wasn’t Andi was buried under her worry. Andi had surely told him by now, and possibly everyone else. Not only had she destroyed her friendship with Andi, it would also affect the friendship between the three of them. She hit ‘end’ instead of answering Cyrus’ call, and saw that she had several missed calls and texts from him.

**Cyrus** _ : are you okay? _

**Cyrus** **_:_ ** _ where are you? _

**Cyrus** **_:_ ** _ please answer me _

**Cyrus** **_:_ ** _ buffy please just let me know you’re safe _

She opened their conversation and typed:

**Buffy** **_:_ ** _ i’m at your house _

**Buffy:** _ i’m fine _

It was obviously a lie, but she didn’t want him to panic any more and risk having him round up everyone at the party to create a search party for her. She wouldn’t put that past him.

**Cyrus:** _ do you want me to come home? I can be there in a few minutes _

**Buffy** _ : no just stay and enjoy the party. don’t worry about me _

She headed into the bathroom to wash her face and get ready for bed. Her swollen, tear-stained face stared back at her from the mirror, with mascara tracks down her face. She looked miserable, and it matched how she felt. Getting into her pajamas, she crawled into Cyrus’ bed. Even though she told him to stay at the party, she had a feeling he would be home soon anyways.

Her prediction came true, and about fifteen minutes later, she heard him coming into the house. It was too far to hear clearly, but it sounded like he was talking to someone - most likely TJ. Not long after that, he was cautiously peeking his head into the bedroom.

“I told you to stay at the party,” she said, her voice scratchy from the crying.

“It was wrapping up,” he said, coming all the way into the room. She glanced at the clock. It was barely 9:30, but she didn’t call him out on the lie, because the tiny, selfish part of her was glad that he was there with her. He crawled into bed with her, and immediately wrapped his arms around her.

“What happened?” he asked gently.

“Didn’t Andi tell you?” Buffy asked, fearing the worst.

“She said you guys had a fight,” Cyrus said gently. “About SAVA.”

“It was stupid,” Buffy sniffled. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“And,” Cyrus continued, and Buffy could tell he was proceeding carefully, “she said that you said your crush was on her.”

There it was. Buffy had definitely ruined everything. There was no coming back from it now.

“She’s not mad at you,” Cyrus continued gently, rubbing soft circles on her shoulder. “She just wants to talk.”

“I’ve ruined it,” Buffy choked out, feeling the tears coming again. “She’s never going to want to be friends with me again.”

“That’s not true,” Cyrus protested. “Look, you’ll have to talk about the SAVA argument, but I’m sure you guys can work through that.”

“Not that,” Buffy sniffled. “She knows now. She’s not going to want to be friends with me.”

“Yes she will,” Cyrus insisted. “Sure, she was surprised, but that doesn’t mean she’s mad or upset about it.”

But Buffy shook her head vehemently, and he dropped it. Soon after, he got ready for bed, and they both drifted off to sleep.

\---

In the weeks following, Buffy found for the first time that she was grateful that she went to a different school than Andi. It made avoiding her much easier. And if she just didn’t go to the Spoon or the Red Rooster or any of their usual hangouts, she lessened the risk of running into her outside of school as well. 

Cyrus was trying to play peacemaker and get them to talk, but Buffy wasn’t ready for that. Andi hadn’t texted or called or tried to contact her in any way since the night of the party, which sent a pretty clear message, despite what Cyrus said otherwise. It hurt though, knowing that Andi wasn’t making an effort to reach out. It hurt seeing her post pictures on Instagram of her and her SAVA friends from the party and other activities. In fact, it was like a stab to the gut every time Buffy thought about it.

The rest of their friend group seemed to know that something had happened between the two girls, but nobody aside from Cyrus seemed to know any details. Buffy preferred to keep it that way, but she didn’t know how long that would last for. 

About two weeks after the party, Buffy was at home, lying in bed and reading a book for her English class. There was a soft knock on her door, and she said, “Come in,” expecting it to be her mom. 

It was Andi.

It took Buffy a moment to realize who it was standing in her doorway before the panic kicked in. Andi carefully closed the door behind her, and Buffy started to comprehend what was going on.

“Hi,” Andi said softly. “I think we need to talk.”

Buffy sat up in bed, not trusting herself to speak. Andi came over to sit on the bed with her, leaving quite a bit of space between them.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy blurted out the same time that Andi did. They looked at each other in surprise, and Buffy had to fight the instinct to laugh.

“What are you sorry about?” Buffy asked in confusion.

“For not telling you about SAVA,” Andi said. Buffy shook her head in response.

“No, I was just being stupid,” she said. “You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But you were right,” Andi said softly. “I should have trusted you guys with that. I should have given you a heads-up that it could happen.”

“It was your choice to tell us,” Buffy argued. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was just upset.”

“But you’re my best friend,” Andi said. “I didn’t want to go to a different high school than you. I just wanted the opportunity to go to an amazing art school, and Grant just didn’t have those opportunities. If I could have taken you guys with me, I absolutely would have.”

“I don’t know about that,” Buffy said. “You’ve seen my stick figures.”

Andi laughed for the first time since she had come into the room, and Buffy felt a swell of happiness in her chest. Cyrus had been right about one thing - they had been able to work through the SAVA argument. It was something they could have worked through without diving into a screaming match about it first.

But the elephant was still in the room, and it was getting harder to ignore it. Buffy didn’t want to bring it up - if anything, she was willing to completely ignore the fact that she had screamed out her romantic feelings for her crush in the middle of an argument. But she knew that they were going to talk about it.

Andi’s face turned serious again, and she looked nervous for the first time.

“Can we talk about what else you said?” she asked quietly.

“Do we have to?” Buffy said with a laugh that she didn’t mean. “We can just pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Andi replied. Buffy found that she couldn’t look at her friend any more and instead focused on her comforter.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“No,” Andi said, and Buffy looked up in surprise at the sharp tone in the other girl’s voice. “You don’t need to apologize. And I’m sorry if I made you feel that way,” she continued, her voice softening. 

“I was never going to tell you,” Buffy said, her voice so quiet that she was almost whispering.

“Why not?” Andi asked, sounding confused.

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” Buffy replied. “But then I went and did it anyways.”

“It’s not ruined,” Andi said. “At least it’s not from my point of view.”

“Isn’t it?” Buffy replied. To her surprise, Andi scooted closer to her on the bed and took her hand. The butterflies in her stomach were back in full force. 

“That could never ruin our friendship,” Andi said. “Nothing ever can. And I’m so sorry if there was anything I ever said or did that would make you feel that way.”

Buffy glanced at Andi, meeting her dark eyes that were filled with concern and care. It set off a myriad of emotions in her that she wasn’t sure if she was ready to deal with.

“It’s just a dumb crush,” Buffy mumbled. “It’ll go away.”

“Do you want it to?” Andi asked quietly. Buffy glanced at her in surprise. The other girl’s cheeks were pink, and she suddenly looked as nervous as Buffy felt.

“I don’t want things to be weird between us,” Buffy said. 

“They don’t have to be,” Andi replied. The two held each other’s gaze for a few seconds too long, and Buffy felt her heart speed up. Andi was much closer to her than before; so close that she could count the freckles on her nose. She couldn’t tell if it was her imagination going into overdrive or not, but then Andi started to lean in.

Buffy’s eyes fluttered closed and she felt Andi’s lips press gently against hers. It seemed to last a split second and an eternity all at the same time. Andi’s hand was still entwined with her own, and their knees were pressed up against each other. When they broke apart, Buffy felt as though her entire face was on fire. 

Andi smiled shyly at her. “Was that okay?”

“Um,” Buffy managed to get out. “I mean, yes.”

Andi giggled slightly, and Buffy could see the slight blush on her cheeks. 

“I’ve been figuring some things out lately,” Andi said. “I guess this is a good time to tell you that I’m pansexual. I’ve wanted to tell you, but then my feelings got complicated.”

“I know that feeling all too well,” Buffy grumbled, eliciting another smile. “I still haven’t quite figured out how to label myself yet.”

“That’s okay,” Andi said gently. “Cyrus has been very helpful, of course,” she continued.

“Wow, we must have been driving him absolutely nuts,” Buffy said with a grin. The two girls collapsed into giggles at the realization. 

“Should we let him know?” Buffy asked. “So he can stop stressing about dealing with us and our problems?”

“Definitely,” Andi agreed. Buffy pulled out her phone and opened Snapchat. She leaned in close with Andi, and right before she took the picture, Andi turned her face and pressed a kiss to Buffy’s cheek. Buffy felt like her entire face was on fire, but she snapped the picture anyways, unable to contain the happy smile that was spreading across her face.

“Caption or no caption?” she asked.

“No caption,” Andi decided. “He’s smart enough to figure it out.”

Buffy sent the image and then closed her phone. She looked back at Andi. Now that they were done being goofy, the reality of what had just happened sank in. Andi was looking back at her, brown eyes sparkling. 

Andi had kissed her. Andi liked her as more than a friend, and her confession hadn’t ruined their friendship after all. In fact, the best possible thing had come from it. She wanted to say something, to express how she was feeling about all of it.

“Can I kiss you?” Buffy blurted out, immediately cursing her inability to be subtle about anything. 

However, Andi smiled sweetly at her and nodded. Heart beating a little bit faster, Buffy leaned in and pressed her lips against Andi’s. It felt just as amazing as the first time, and she didn’t want it to end. But then her phone bleeped at her, and the two girls broke apart. Glancing down at her phone screen with some regret, Buffy saw that Cyrus had sent a snap in response. 

“Oh boy, it’s a video,” she said. Andi giggled and scooted in closer to watch, resting her head on Buffy’s shoulder. She opened the video to see that it was Cyrus just screaming and shaking the camera around in excitement. The two girls collapsed into laughter. 

“Well, I’m sure he’s thrilled he doesn’t have to go between us anymore,” Buffy remarked dryly, putting her phone away.

“We should definitely thank him later,” Andi replied, scooting in closer. “Now, I believe we were in the middle of something?”

Buffy felt her smile grow wider as Andi leaned in to kiss her again.


End file.
